Update After My Hiatus

I’ve been on a hiatus and think I should give an update on life. With nothing really going on I just haven’t found anything to write about. Of course things have happened, but they all seem so small and insignificant at the time that they don’t seem worth mentioning. It is only in the accumulation of seemingly insignificant changes that the scope of the change becomes apparent.

HOUSE PROJECT UPDATE

Things aren’t moving as quickly as I’d like, but they are moving about as quickly as they could possibly move. We finished the wiring/plumbing/etc last week; HVAC was installed last week, and the sheetrock was hung this week. The sheetrock mudders will be in on Monday. By the end of the week we should be able to paint.

While the sheetrock was going up this week we were working on the deck that is going out the south side of the great room (going to have to stop calling it that because now it is a collection of small rooms that are no greater than any other rooms). We have the supports up and joists up. We don’t have any decking or railing on yet. That might happen this week while the mudders have us out of the place again this week.

As soon as we can get back in we will paint just as quickly as possible and then get to finishing the bathroom and working on flooring.

I will try to get some video edited of what the space looks like out to you soon!

MISSOURI/FINANCES UPDATE

We have accepted (grudgingly) that we won’t be moving back to MO anytime soon. This is sad. We don’t want to lose the property though just in case we ever do find a way to get back there.

Even though we are way under water on the mortgage for a house that no longer exists, we have still been making the payments. I’ve tried reaching the bank to see if we can work something out but they refuse to speak to me. If nothing else I’d like to get approval to lower my payments since there is no insurance on the property (why would there be?) and the taxes are going to be MUCH lower now with no home.

We have sold our cattle. They have been at a neighbors house since the fire and he took care of them over the winter. I had him haul them to auction this week and should get a check for them soon. That will help out a lot of things!

We haven’t decided how/when we are going to collect the rest of our things. I think it is feasible to have everything loaded into my storage unit and then ship the entire thing here to Utah, but I don’t have a good way of getting it all loaded. I could ask friends/neighbors to do it for me, but that seems like a big ask. Maybe my Dad goes back and does it with help. May I have to do it? Still undecided.

FAMILY UPDATE

Everyone is fine. Caitlin (15) and Joshua (13) had birthdays. Everyone is healthy and enjoying the summer. They’d like to not be working at my parents so much, but it hasn’t been bad. With frequent (near daily) trips to the pool or the new splash pad in Bluffdale they are all getting out a lot. They’ve done some hiking and sports too.

I think everyone is apprehensive about the move. We know my parents place won’t be done. We only have 2 weeks from today, so I don’t even know what state of cleanliness it will be in. But school is starting, so we will move in regardless and make the best of it. Maybe with school starting it will help make things easier for Julie and I to get things into a more livable condition.

VA/MENTAL HEALTH UPDATE

I’m surviving. I’m still going to all my regular appointments (several a week) and getting by.

I have started and completed the beginners portion of Canines with a Cause. I still don’t have my own dog but have been working with their dogs. The first part of the intermediate class that begins in a few weeks will be looking for my own dog. The timing is working out fine since I couldn’t have my own here at the Penrod’s, but can have one as soon as we move. This will go a LONG way to helping my anxiety and will hopefully be beneficial in dealing with nightmares too.

Julie is still crazy!

EXERCISE/HEALTH UPDATE

You haven’t seen any running logs since the pool opened because we stopped running. We have instead been swimming. I have the kids do laps each time we show up to keep them doing some cardio, then they are free to go play (which rarely includes actual swimming).

My exercise has been fine, but hasn’t resulted in any weight loss. I think it has trimmed up my waist a little bit (several people have mentioned it), but my actual weight hasn’t gone down. Perhaps with time.

28 June 2017

Insurance Update:

I promised an insurance update last week and never got to it. I can’t say I’m much more prepared this week to do it either. My mental state just isn’t good I’m afraid.

Insurance Update:

But just so you don’t feel like I’ve left you hanging, we have officially been denied coverage for the fire. Maybe later this week or next I’ll be able to write about what this means and what we plan to do. Thanks for understanding the lack of info at this time.

23 May 201721 May 2017

Kids Earning Money

Caitlin and Joshua are earning money beginning a summer campaign to raise some dough. If you haven’t heard about it, please check out the link!

Good for them!

The kids, with a bit of encouragement, have decided to start earning their own money for the summer. They are only 14 (Caitlin) and 12 (Joshua) but have a pretty good understanding of where things come from. They realize we can’t just go into a store and get things without offering up something of value in return (money). And because Julie and I have never operated on debt, the kids know that they need to have that money in advance.

They know that if they want go to movies, buy games, etc, that it takes money, and that that money must be earned in some way; either by themselves or somebody else on their behalf. They don’t think that money magically appears or that the world owes them anything.

Thankfully they are willing to get out, do some work, and provide services of value in order to earn the money they want to spend. I think they are admirable.

Kicking them out of the nest?

At some point in time every parent must decide when their kids must start earning money for themselves, instead of that parent continuing to earn money on the child’s behalf. We are not at that point yet. I know that my parents took care of me long past the ages of Caitlin and Joshua. Julie and I will keep doing the same for ours.

We are still providing for all of their necessities. We buy them school clothes, food, and other necessities. They haven’t been cut off financially. But due to our recent losses we aren’t in a position to provide many perks. They are at an age where those perks seem like necessities and they would like more than just enough to keep them alive. So they have chosen to earn more.

Now there are obviously things that they can’t afford in advance that we are willing help them with. For example, we signed up all of the kids for swimming lessons this summer. We also bought a full season pass for the pool. For a family of our size you might imagine those cost a fair amount of money.

Caitlin and Josh both agreed they wanted to do those things and they were willing to pay their share of the cost. Rather than make them miss some of the summer trying to earn the money first, we covered the cost, they will pay us back, and they will get to enjoy the full summer’s worth of activities.

Drawbacks

I hope that none manifest themselves, but I have some concerns about kids earning money.

I’d hate for the kids to view all of our/their acquaintances as potential customers. I want the kids to be kind and friendly with people because they are good people (which they are!), and not because they see them as somebody they can earn a few dollars from. Being good people needs to be first and foremost.
I don’t want them to “learn” that life is all about money. It isn’t! It never has been for Julie and I and I don’t want the kids to think so. Money is a useful tool for providing things in life, but it isn’t the goal of life. You don’t get a gold star for dying with the most money or having the most toys. I want them to do this as a means to an end, rather than seeing money as the end itself.

This was a popular bumper sticker and T-shirt in the 80’s

But this more accurately reflects the truth!

I don’t want friends/neighbors/relatives to have a bad experience. They are kids, and if they mess something up I don’t want to have any bad feelings develop amongst people we know. I don’t expect this to happen and that problem could be handled with some customer service skills.
I don’t want people to feel obligated to support them. I don’t want them to resent being asked. If you want bread, please order it. If not, please don’t do so because of guilt. They need to learn to accept rejection as well.
I don’t want them to think that Mom and I aren’t willing to take care of them. Sure, we are expecting some financial hardship, but I don’t want the kids to think that they are a burden on us, or are the cause of the issues.
I don’t want them to ruin their childhood. They only have a few short years of youth. I don’t want this to take up so much of their time that they don’t have time to play with friends, enjoy the pool, go to movies, etc. I am still willing to let them be kids.

Your experiences

What have you seen or experienced? I would love to hear some stories about when your children first started earning money. How did it go? Did it change them? For good or for ill? How could YOU have done better? How did you talk to them or teach them?